Living young, wild, and free!

The second annual Hangmaids Beach Week is coming, it will be crazy, immature, wildly inappropriate, and probably dangerous, but most of all it's going to be a whole hell of a lot of fun. This all started a few years ago when I was fortunate enough to be in my best friend Hannah’s wedding.  This was one of those weddings where everyone involved were friends in some capacity. It wasn’t like “oh this is my second cousin from Florida who I only met today” type situations. We all basically grew up together. The cast goes as follows, Hannah’s two sisters, Sarah and Stephanie, Hannah’s Cousin Laura then friends, Jordan, Elyce, Jess and I. Then our friends Meredith and Beth were honorary bridesmaids. We had a blast at the wedding, we all got crazy, we all danced, we all partied until the night was over. This is how the hangmaids got their start. Now let me tell you how we got our name. We all loved the movies the The Hangover and Bridesmaids. Since we loved those movies I thought, “why not just combine the names of the movies into something glorious?” I jumped right in thinking of different combos. We needed a moniker that spoke volumes. I didn’t want us to just be known as “Hannah’s Bridesmaids” we needed something edgier. So being the wonderful nickname tress that I am, I came up with the Hangmaids. It was a perfect fit. We were all crazy just like the characters in those movies, but we are also fiercely loyal to each other just like they were. We have called ourselves the Hangmaids ever since.

After the wedding, most all of the girls involved, including the bride, decided that we needed to start celebrating our lives together with an annual vacation. So everyone minus Sarah (because she was only 17 at the time, don’t worry Sarah you can come when your legal!) and Laura (because she’s a mommy) started thinking of what we could do for a vacation. Meredith told us that her parents had recently purchased a beach house in Myrtle Beach, SC. So last year, all of the hangmaids that could took a trip down to Myrtle to celebrate our pure awesomeness. It felt like we were all seniors in high school again. Being rebellious and just doing what we pleased. We stayed out on the beach until it rained every single day. We even stayed so late one day that we got caught in a thunderstorm. The nighttime was just as eventful as the day. There were a few incidents with a water fountain, refrigerator magnets, a big toe, and a hole in the wall. Doesn’t that sound like some of Stu, Alan, and Phil’s shenanigans? (If you don’t know who they are, then you clearly have no idea what this whole blog is about.) Some of us went on a pirate voyage, while others got lost in shopping bags. (Not literally of course, we aren’t cats) We watched the summer Olympics like it was our job. I don’t think we turned the channel once the whole time we were down there. We were really channeling our American spirit (Team America, F yeah). Oh except for Sunday night when we flipped it over to HBO to watch True Blood. (Seriously, who doesn’t love the Vamps?) We all went down to the strip (Myrtle Beach's finest attraction); some of us even got airbrushed t-shirts and hats. We had a family game night (which got embarrassing as usual) we had our fair share of “lady disagreements” but who doesn’t with their friends? Overall, I wouldn’t trade this trip for anything in the world. It was a tremendous success and we vowed to make sure we do it each year. 

It’s pretty remarkable when you can get all of your friends together to make memories that will last a lifetime. I cherish each one of those memories just as much as I cherish my friendships with these wonderful women. I wouldn’t be who I am today without them and to be quite honest; I wouldn’t have it any other way. When I am with them I feel whole. That is very comforting to me, even if were miles away from our actual homes, I always feel at home with them. Most of all, we can be as crazy as we want to be all the time because that’s just who we are. We are the Hangmaids.

We are young, we are definitely wild, and we are free.

You're my silver lining, you make my light come through

As I was watching my normal sporting events over the weekend I noticed something I had always seen, but never really paid much attention to it. Sports aren't just about wins and losses. They are so much more. If you have read in my earlier posts you know I am a sports fanatic. I was really touched by some of the things I have seen over the past few days.

Silver Linings Playbook. If you haven't watched it you need to, immediately. It’s a story about two people who are trying to cope with their mental issues. I don’t want to go into detail in case you haven’t seen it but, a big part of the story is the Philadelphia Eagles Football team. At one point in the movie the main character actually goes to a game. This is where I realize that any person from any walk of life can give up their grievances for the love of the game/team. They may be enemies during the week but on Sunday they all come together for a common goal. That goal is to get a win for the Eagles. Whatever is best for the team they do it. Even if it’s as superstitious as holding an Eagles handkerchief in their left had at all times.  If it helps the team win we all buy in.

Losing to win. Last night, ESPN ran a story on the Carroll Academy girls’ basketball team. They have lost 213 games straight. What makes this story unique aren’t their losses, it’s what they have gained from those losses. The girls in this program come from difficult backgrounds. Most of them were born into homes with drug and alcohol abuse, or no electricity or running water. They basically weren’t given a chance until they became members of the Lady Jags basketball team. Their coach doesn’t preach X’s and O’s, he stresses how the adversity they are facing from these losses will help them later in life. At one point during the story they interview a player who was struggling with Bipolar disorder. While playing for the Lady Jag’s she had complete control over her disorder because she knew if she didn’t it could have her removed from the team completely. She states in the interview that this was the closest thing to a family that she has ever had. To me, this story was inspiring and emotional. I couldn’t imagine losing that many games but these girls are just happy to be a part of something. They’re finally getting to feel what it’s like to have a support system. What it’s like to have somewhere to go instead of going home to darkness. They honestly could care less about their record; all they care about is each other.

What I am trying to stress here is that, no matter who you are, where you come from, rich or poor, sports unites us all. We have common ground in sports. It can lift our spirits, make us forget about our problems, and share a bond with a stranger. It can hold us accountable when we don’t participate in our “superstitions”, it can bring us pure agony when our team loses. Sports allow us to form bonds we never thought possible. They can be so uplifting and inspiring. There are so many life lessons that can be learned through sports. I know I wouldn’t be who I am today without them.

All I can remember from my high school days were sports. I think I literally went to school to play sports. It was so fulfilling to be a part of a group who had my back at all times. I formed some incredible bonds with a group of girls over those years. I was in a few of their weddings. I stress to the younger generation that those relationships will last lifetime. I will never forget what sports gave to me and I will always give my all back to the sports I love. It’s a never ending cycle of emotions and feelings that I hope everyone can experience at some point in their lives.

Dear Boston

In this post I was solely inspired by my sister to express my feelings about the Boston Marathon explosions. I will give you a little background info before I start.

My sister (Megan) told me a while back that she was seriously considering participating in the Boston marathon. She is an avid runner so I figured this was the next natural step in her running career. She had done everything she needed to do to be a part of it and was excited about making the journey to Boston to participate in such a prestigious race. When April 15^th finally arrived I went to work as usual, hoping to hear from my sister by the end of the day to congratulate her on accomplishing one of her goals. What I didn’t expect was to get a phone call from my best friend asking me if my sister was alright. I panicked. I knew where she was, but had no knowledge of what was happening in Boston. I immediately got on the internet and found out as much as I could about the bombings. I still haven’t heard from my sister. I called my dad to ask him if he had heard anything and he had not. My stress level went from a 7 to a 10 right then and there. My efforts in trying to reach her weren’t going as successfully as I would have liked. I could feel my body start to sweat and shake, and as each minute passed it got worse. Finally, my best friend called me back to say that she had posted to Facebook that she was ok and had finished the race minutes before the bombs exploded. I was thankful that my sister was fine, but my heart didn’t feel joy. The reality had sunk in. My sister survived unscathed, but a lot of other runners and supporters weren’t so lucky. As I sifted through the horrifying images I just kept seeing one thing that really stuck out to me. Most of the people unaffected by the bombings weren’t running away from the explosion. They were running towards it. I was speechless. It was so heartwarming to see people helping others who couldn’t help themselves. It gave me hope that once all the smoke had cleared, and the dust had settled that we, as a whole, would be alright. We would survive, we would prevail.

After I got off work, I called my sister to see how she was doing. I could tell in her voice that she was shaken up by all of this. She told me that she was alright and that she was going to try to get some rest after a very long a tumultuous day. What is truly incomprehensible is that this isn’t her first time being involved with a tragedy. On 9/11, she was only a few blocks away from where the World Trade Center attacks took place. Even though I knew this wasn’t something to be proud of, I knew it would help her cope with this unfathomable act of violence.

A few weeks after the attack she wrote a beautiful song dedicated towards Boston and all of its victims. It’s called Dear Boston. I cried the first time I heard it. I still have a hard time getting through it without crying. This song may not heal someone physically but it can help us all heal emotionally. It is a little piece of hope. It shows us that we may get knocked down but we will always get back up. All I ask of you is to listen to the song, if you feel compelled to purchase it, even better, all of the proceeds from the song are being donated to One Fund Boston. You can download her song at here.

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away

I have known pain, I have known agony, I have known loss, what I have never been able to experience is another person's pain. Not physically at least. Recently, a few good people in my life have been affected by some truly heart breaking circumstances. I don't want to speak candidly about their situations but they are unfathomable. I can handle the pain when it's placed on me, but when others feel pain I feel completely and totally helpless. Nothing hurts me more than seeing someone so riddled with pain, and in tears because of a devastating event. Like having something they loved ripped away from them due to a miscommunication or a technicality, or fighting a battle that seems to be insurmountable. I know this all seems quite vague but I am writing to a few particular people who have been dealing with these challenges for a long time. They know who they are and I hope they realize that I might not always know what to say in person, but I can express myself better with words.

I don't remember who said this next piece of advice but it has stuck with me. It goes as follows... "We can control two things in our lives, our attitude and our effort." Now this particular person was referring to a sports analogy but I believe this also applies to life. If we go about our lives with a poor attitude and don't give our lives much effort then we will never truly be as great as we can be. We can abruptly change our outlook on life if we focused in on the positives of a negative situation. These people that I am referring to, have done just that. Their attitudes towards these obstacles have made their situations much easier. They have grabbed the proverbial bull by its horns and rode with the punches. I keep telling them that they will be stronger for this, even though they might not see it right away.

What really inspires me about these people is that I have never seen them at their worst. I have seen them when they were down and out, but never their worst. They put a smile on every day even if they are in excruciating pain. They never let anyone see them sweat. I've never been one to hold my emotions in, I wear mine right on my sleeve. With these two, I have really never seen them have a bad day. They have their moments of weakness, but who doesn't? They have handled everything that has been thrown at them with so much grace. I honestly don't know how they are able to keep it together considering what is going on with them, but I do know that they are now my heroes for it. They give me hope that one day, if I were to face a hardship, if I just follow their lead, I will make it through just fine.

To Rook and Hope,
Please continue to stay as strong as you always have been and please continue to shine your bright light in to this dark and gloomy world. You cannot be defeated or denied. I am proud to have you as my friends and even happier to have you as my daily inspiration. Keep fighting the good fight, stay positive, and never give up!

the times they are a changing

I think this year is going to be a year where I embrace change. I saw an amazing quote/picture on my favorite TV show the other night, it allowed me to have this complete moment of clarity. The picture was a representation of "stepping outside of your comfort zone" it was basically saying that if you allow yourself to step outside of your comfort zone then magical things will happen. Right then and there I knew that stepping out of my comfort zone will grant me access to some untapped amazingness.

Opening yourself up to something new can really show you just how talented you really are. I could throw every cliche quote about "thinking outside of the box" at you but the only way for you to experience that feeling is for you to do it yourself. I dare you to do something different this year, something incredible. Do something that will change your life forever. Make a memory or two. I know your thinking "what if I fail" "what if I don't like what I do" I say to that, you'll never know until you try. You might do something you think you will hate and end up loving it.

I've got my mind on my money and my money on my mind

For those of you who don't know, I am a bank teller at a local credit union in North Carolina. What I have noticed while working here is that an ALARMING number of teens/young adults know NOTHING about having a personal checking account. Let alone any other accounts they might have. My initial response is to start teaching this at an early age. I was a kid once my self (still am really) but I know that if a class was offered on how to manage money, I am certain I would have steered clear. Then I thought well why not have an assembly or something to that nature. After thinking this through its also a bad idea. We all know what we did during assemblies. This is an issue because I do believe it leads them into poor management of their finances when they are older.

When I was about 18 my father took me to a well known bank to open up a checking account with a debit card. This was a mistake. He basically just gave me the right to swipe that debit card any time I felt like it with no repercussions. That's exactly what I did. I had no clue about having to wait for my purchases to post in my account or there being a hold on my account for a gas purchase. None of it made sense to me and being a college student I didn't really care. As long as I saw money in my account it was mine to spend. Only when I started working at a bank did I really begin to understand how it all works.

This is what I propose. We need to start teaching kids about their finances as soon as they are old enough to understand how it works. I think their senior year they should have a mandatory class where they have to learn how to balance a check book, learn about debits and credits and how to properly use a debit card. I know to the adults out there who are reading this are probably thinking "well I can teach my kids that" well think again. I had to learn the hard way. I think if you give them "money" that's theirs they will care more about where it goes. This doesn't have to be real money it could be "monopoly money" that could be used to purchase goods within the school or tickets into sporting events or what not. I think the more personal you make it the more kids will pay attention to it.

All I know is that something has got to change if not these children will thrust into a world with no knowledge of how to manage their accounts which will lead to lifetimes of debt and frustration. Let's nip it in the bud now before its too late.

PREACH

All you need is love

What is your definition of love?? I can tell you mine has changed dramatically since I was born.

For example I was certain that I was in love with my teddy bear when I was about 3 or 4. It wasn't actually a teddy bear, it was a stuffed dog with a plastic black nose. I named it Ginger, that dog went EVERYWHERE with me. At that point in my life I would say the word love went along the lines of protection and companionship. I felt lost if I didn't have that dog with me. Ginger was my security blanket, she allowed me not to feel alone in situations where I felt uncomfortable. This was my first real experience with loving something other than my family. 

Family love is something completely different. That love is a surrounding mass of advice, encouragement, motivation, and guidance. I guess you could say family love is this sort of comforting hug each and everyday. Families are also good at "tough love" they know when to give you that life lesson that you don't necessarily want but you absolutely need. My family may not be the most perfect family but I am thankful that I can receive their love everyday.

Now lets keep moving with my life loves. When I was around 7 or 8 I had a deep passion for Legos. I would even be willing to say it was an obsession. I became so consumed when I started to build. It was like the world was shut off and it was just me and my legos. I just kept thinking that this would be something I would do forever. Of course when your 8 years old forever means until something else new comes along. I just felt this overwhelming sense of accomplishment when I was playing with my legos. It seems silly now but I actually did have a long fascination for those small little blocks.

When I was around 12 years old I got my first pair of basketball shoes. I will never forget them because they were the ugliest pair of shoes I ever put on my feet. I loved them because I got to pick them out. They were all black with jagged white strips coming up from the bottom. The white strips almost looked like a shark bite. They were horrendous but so flashy. That's exactly why I got them. They kind of looked like this but were black, white, and red. No picture will do those shoes any justice. They made me feel dominant and confident when I was on the court. I took good care of them too. I cleaned them after every single game to make sure the "flash" never wore off. This type of love actually turned me into a sneakerhead. Who knew at 12 I would become such a lover of shoes?

I experienced puppy love in my middle school and high school years. The definition speaks for itself. We all go through it, we get fixated on someone and basically stalk them just to get them to notice we are alive. It's a phase.

Once I reached college I started to gain a real understanding of love, well at least my definition of it. Love can be incredible, it can sweep you off your feet within a single moment. It can make you do things that you didn't think were possible. It can grow into something so large that the whole universe can see. It can warm your heart after your world has gone cold. What I enjoy most about love is that it is ever changing. The definition may be pretty cut and dry but its your interpretation of that word that makes it special to you. Its your definition that makes your love unique.

love it patient, love is kind

its a new dawn, its a new day

2013

2012 you were pretty good to me...we had our share of ups and downs but overall, not to shabby. I had my share of new experiences and met some new people. I also learned some hard lessons and who to trust. When I look back on it, it feels like last year lasted a lifetime. Simply because I had a lifetime's worth of experiences last year. 2013 should be no different. Big changes are coming for me...

I went through so much last year, A very close friend/coworker moved away, I moved back to my hometown, I rekindled old friendships, coached a great group of teenagers in junior Olympic volleyball, lost some friendships, I had my back stabbed, reunited with lost family members, and got the joy of learning that some of my closest friends are expanding their families by having children.

It is wonderful to reflect on last years good fortunes but I can't help but focus on the present/future. I see so many possibilities for me ahead and I can't help but want to reach right out and grab them! I just know this, my 2013 is a year for ME. It's a time for change people and I am the front runner, leading the pack to victory!